Back in this reality, I felt like I had been spat out by a meat grinder. It was then my task to integrate what I had experienced. I knew it was my responsibility to put in the work to heal myself.
Very naturally, I developed a meditation practice. The beginning was chaotic. I faced pure madness. My mind flooded me with content, and it was awfully crowded and loud. Over time and through practice, I learned it was not about holding onto the thoughts, images, and emotions my body and mind fed me, it was about letting them in and letting them out, just like breathing. So I learned to rely on my breathing. I observed that my breath helped me get through to the spirit. This is when I finally caught glimpses of stillness within the ambient noise of my inner nuclear war.
(painting in collaboration with 1010))