At this point, I did not know what I could possibly do to get well again. It felt like I was headed for death. But when I thought about checking out, it just did not feel real. I knew that there was still so much life energy within me, somewhere, and I was only missing how to regain access to it. This thought made me remain open for an alternative exit from my misery, even though I had no idea what that might look like.

Needless to say, the Universe had an exact plan for me. Through some fateful encounters, I was introduced to a shaman. My way out was to die before I die. 

Again, I want to emphasize that what worked for me most likely will not apply to everyone. Each individual’s crusade of healing is different, and so is their path. The following is not a manual. It is just one part of a long story I don’t want to leave out, because it helped me reconnect with what I had desperately been missing, a reset button.

Basically, the shaman sent me through ego death by serving me 5-MeO-DMT, a psychedelic secreted by the glands of the Sonoran Desert toad. The entire trip was guided. I was guided to let go.